


The Assult on Triton

by SpaceKeet



Category: Gloryhammer (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Explicit Language, Gen, My take on on the Assult of Triton in Rise of the Chaos Wizards, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceKeet/pseuds/SpaceKeet
Summary: The Fortress of Triton holds the frozen Dark Lord, Zargothrax and the Forces of Chaos wish to free him and will slaughter all that stands in their way.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	The Assult on Triton

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Gloryhammer characters. Please note that this story is about the characters represented by the band and not about the band members themselves.

It was chaos outside the fortress of Triton, hoards of demons, zombies, goblins and chaos wizards streamed forward, seemingly with no end to their forces. They assaulted the fortress of the Space Knights of Crail relentlessly, trying their damndest to get inside and kill the ones that dare stand against them. All kinds of demons swarmed with the goblins and wizards: faecal demons (that the Space Knights were more used to dealing with), imps, siege demons, demon knights, and flying demons. This was a larger-scale invasion than any invasion before and it was gruelling and bloody. The Knights already had to fall back to the fortress and hold it after losing the fields.

A large muted orange demon grotesquely built with massive biceps and rolls of fat thundered into view of the gates, snorted air out of its large nostrils and let out a roar that echoed through the air, shaking the fortified walls. It then tilted its massive horns atop an armoured head down and charged towards the door. With each large step towards the fortress’s doors, the demon shook the ground and crushed oblivious faecal demons under hoof and rammed its large horns into the door.

The door shuddered as the large demon hit it, blowing some of the Space Knights back from the force of the impact, throwing them into the dirt. The door miraculously held, but the cracks forming on it revealed that it won’t hold for long.

“Get up! Get up and reinforce that door! The forces of Chaos must not break through!” Sir Regulon yelled, running into the courtyard from the stairs. He blasted a flying demon with his laser gun, finishing it off with his sword when it fell down.

The Knights that were thrown back from the impact got up as quickly as they could with some help from their peers and immediately yelled out orders for something more to reinforce the gates. Their voices joined the chaos of battle outside.

The large bulbous behemoth that rammed into the doors, got up, huffed in annoyance that it didn’t break through, began to walk back to where it originally was to try again. The swarms of goblins, zombies, other demons and wizards moved around the large demon as it lumbered past. It stopped and turned around, let out another thunderous roar into the sky and charged, crushing some more oblivious faecal demons and astral zombies underneath it’s massively hoofed and muscular legs as it ran into the door again.

The door cracked more but did not shatter nor budge much to the displeasure of the massive demon. It got up again looking at the door with its hands on its large hips like a disappointed mother that caught her kid drawing on the walls. It studied the door critically trying to think of the best way to get it open. The massive horned demon lifted a hand off its hip and knocked twice, opened its jaw to rows of sharp teeth and spoke in a guttural and deep voice, “Your pizza order’s here,” it said with an amused undertone. All it got for its trouble was having hot oil dumped on its head which it took in stride. “How rude…” it muttered.

A stray spell hit the demon on its flank near its thick and armoured tail, fat and muscle rippling as the demon jumped in surprise. After it had landed with a loud crash, loose dirt and pebbles getting thrown up from its surprise it swung its head and its four eyes independently sought out who the hell shot him in the ass. “IDIOT SPELL CASTERS! WATCH WHERE YOU FIRE! NOW GET INTO THAT FORTRESS, WE MUST FREE THE DARK LORD!” it roared in the general direction of the chaos wizards that it had picked up on the way here.

“YES SIR, DEMON COMMANDER ETH’TELAK!” came the combined answer along with a salute. One of the chaos wizards tried very hard not to piss himself, very glad that he didn’t face the main brunt of the commander’s wrath for that loose spell.

Eth’telak then faced the door again, putting a clawed finger to his chin in thought as the chaos happened around him, spells thundered against the walls. The demon felt another dumping of hot oil over his head and shoulders. He looked up at the ones that poured oil on him. “Stop that! You’re merely giving me a nice shower!” he yelled at the humans who shirked away from his gaze. He then paused looking up, he took two steps backwards and jumped upwards, landed his weight on the top of the wall which sent cracks all throughout the stonework. He then got over on the other side of the wall, landing heavily on all fours, shaking the ground with his impact and landing on several knights.

Sir Regulon stopped in his tracks as this massive demon came over the wall, nearly the size the door that’s meant to be keeping these hellish bastards out. “Hey, demon!” he called out, taking aim with his laser blaster.

Eth’telak lifted his head to look at this human that dared to talk to him, lifting a scaled brow. “What, human?” he asked as he got up from the ground, picking up one of the knights in his four-fingered grip and crushing them.

“Did you eat your mother!?” Sir Regulon yelled at him, aiming to try and make the demon angry. He also took aim at the six-metre tall demon’s chest.

“Brother, actually, but nice try!” Eth’telak said in response just as he got shot in the chest by a laser blast. It merely gave him a small scratch on his thick hide.

Sir Regulon gazed on with horror that his shot did nothing aside from giving the demon a bit of a scratch.

Eth’telak looked at the small charr on his chest, then at the human, looking on with horror. “You hit the equivalent of your own fortress walls with a handgun, what do you think was going to happen?!” he roared in amazement at the idiocy of this human. He then quickly turned around to headbutt the large doors open to allow the other demons through.

The forces of chaos streamed through, engaging with the Space Knights of Crail as Eth’telak laughed. Sir Regulon fought as hard as he could, but even he was sure that the fortress was lost as Knights fell faster than demons. Chaos and Justice fought for different goals, one to guard a prison of what the other side wanted. 

Everyone then heard the sound of a laser something that arced through the forces of Chaos in the back, followed by another laser sweep.

Eth’telak turned towards the entrance after he heard the laser blasts go off, flicking his tail to try and wipe out some humans as he investigated. “That better not be who I fucking think it is,” he muttered to himself, looking out of the fortress and down the fields.

Down the fields was what could be described as a one-man army. A one-man army donned in armour made of wolf and more for comfort than form, wielding a massive battle-axe which he used to cut down demons, zombies, wizards and goblins alike, showering himself and the battle-field in blood. It was the Hootsman. The King of California and Hero of Unst, and in league with the other two heroes: Angus McFife XIII and Ralathor, Hermit of the Cowdenbeath.

The blonde-haired barbarian, dripping with blood (not his own) ripped through the forces of chaos with an axe, fist and boot. Hootsman throws his axe and it sails through the air and embeds itself in a pretty large demon, felling it. He was disarmed… So they thought, until he let out a warcry, grabbing the nearest goblin and ripping their head from their shoulders with another cry. He punches a few wizards, their necks snapping with the force as he strides up to the demon that had his axe embedded in its skull. He ripped it out and cut down several imps that tried to get the drop on him. He faced Eth’telak in the distance and lets out a warcry in a challenge.

Eth’telak let out a roar in annoyance. “Of course it’s the fucking Hootsman!” he spat. He turned to the forces slaughtering the Space Knights. “Free Zargothrax, free the Dark Lord! I’ll distract the Hootsman!” he ordered and was answered with a chorus of ‘yes, sir!’s. He faced where the barbarian was tearing through his forces, let out a thunderous roar, dropped to all fours unlike when he was charging at the gates and began to run towards the barbarian with his head and horns down.

The Hootsman was minding his own business cutting through the forces of chaos when he heard a thunderous gallop, looking up just in time to get swept by a horn and tossed into the air by one massive demon. While he went flying up he figured that this demon might be an important one and a good challenge. He grinned and twisted his body in the air, pointing his axe down as he fell towards the demon. The barbarian made a hole in the ground with his impact, but the demon was a lot more agile than he thought as the orange behemoth had dodged the warrior of Unst. He climbed out of the ditch and faced the demon that was standing on his hind legs and appeared to be waiting for him.

“I’ll give you credit, demon, you’re a lot more agile than I thought, now,” Hootsman points his axe at the demon in a threat and continues, “who are you?” He readied himself for the demon to charge again since it was no doubt a dumb brute.

The large demon grins. “I am Eth’telak, Demon Commander for the Dark Lord Zargothrax!” he introduced himself with a fist to chest salute in honour. After the salute, he dropped his arm and snorted out hot air from his nostrils.

That caught the King of California by surprise. “An intelligent demon?”

Eth’telak huffed. “Yes, someone has to command these idiots in the Lord’s absence!” he roared, crushing another faecal demon under-hoof that tried to get between the commander and his battle. The demon commander pulled a face and shook the bits of shit off his hoof. “Repulsive demons! Even for my tastes. I need a nice dragons blood bath after I pound you into the dirt, Hoostman, King of California!” he roared.

“I too will need a bath after this!” the Hootsman roared back, charging forward, lifting his axe to strike.

Eth’telak stepped away from the screaming human, swatting him with his tail, sending him flying and skidding along the ground. While the Hoostman was prone, the demon dropped down on all fours, rammed a horn in the ground charged forward, ripping up ground as he came straight at Hootsman, kicking up bits of rock and dirt.

Hootsman decided that it would be a good idea to dodge that attack and get out of the way. He did exactly that, leaping up and striking the demon’s armoured back, his axe glancing off harmlessly. Okay, don’t strike the armoured bits, got it. He tumbled off Eth’telak’s back and onto the dirt. He got back up and scowled.

Eth’telak laughed as he stood back up and began walking towards the barbarian, every step shaking the demon’s massive muscles and fat, his large tail acting as a counter-balance to his steps. The demon lifts his right hand and strikes Hootsman, or rather where he was as the much smaller figure dodged the strike and towards the demon, striking at his heel and successfully drawing black blood. The demon let out a roar of pain as he tried to step on Hootsman as the barbarian struck again and on the back of the demon commander’s knee which dropped the demon. Eth’telak grabbed the Hootsman and flung him away as he did his best to stand back up, hoisting up his massive frame.

The Hootsman engaged again, but Eth’telak was ready for him and they resumed battle, fighting hard to try and kill the other. Hootsman continued to cut into any weak point he could find (which happened to be his joints) on the demon while Eth’telak threw him around. The Hootsman tried to get past the Demon Commander to stop the return of Zargothrax while Eth’telak was trying to stall for time for his forces to free the sorcerer.

After several minutes more of battle, Hootsman had ended up on an exhausted Eth’telak’s chest and raised his axe to deliver the final blow when the demon started to laugh. The barbarian falters. “What’s so funny, demon? I defeated you!” he said, with triumph and raised his axe again.

Eth’telak continued to laugh and harder, lifting his hand he points towards the fortress of Triton. “You may have fought to defeat me...I fought to buy time for  _ his _ return. And I won,” he said, watching the barbarian’s face fall, taking the opportunity and swatting him off his chest. The demon gets up, still laughing and held out a hand towards the demon army, several suddenly fell dead as bright orange energy was pulled from them and into Eth’telak, healing all of his injuries. The demon commander, as soon as he was healed, retreated towards the fortress of Triton and the pillar of dark energy swirling in a dark tornado from it into the sky.

“NO!” the Hootsman yelled as he tried to follow Eth’telak but unfortunately the demon was galloping on four legs and was far ahead of the barbarian of Unst cutting through the forces of Chaos again.

The King of California continued to cut through the forces as he tried to fight his way to the fortress. He should have tried to run for it. Maybe he can still make it? He punched a few goblins as he worked his way towards the fortress again. The Hootsman then launched some more sweeps of bladed energy, cutting through several demons, zombies and wizards alike.

Dark laughter that suddenly echoed through the sky and the fields told him that he would have no hope of trying to save the fortress and he turned around, fighting to retreat back to his allies and tell them about what just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not plan Eth'telak. He wrote himself into this. I was kind of inspired by DOOM to write this and well, Hootsman was the perfect person to slaughter demons in the way of Doomguy.


End file.
